Body Language Tips to improve your Personality
Introduction
Have you been to some restaurant and immediately said no not this table but the one near the window, this is because the places communicate with you non-verbally. What about a toddler or a pet, all of these communicate effectively without uttering a word. In fact we communicate non-verbally more powerfully sometimes than verbally in our daily lives and as we train our verbal communication. Influential readers of the world understand the importance and power of nonverbals, to put equal effort into training themselves in the art of body language as well. Mae West one of the popular and celebrated hollywood and stage actress once said i speak two languages, “Body and English”. We are going to see about how you can appear to be influential through your body language.
1. Calm and alarm with your palm
The palm is a very integral part of deciding the mood of your conversation. Improper use of the palm can completely change the narrative of any communication. let’s say someone comes to your house or office and you want them to wait for some time. So how about you try saying, would you like to have a seat, pointing towards the seat with your palm up. You can easily feel the direction in a polite and welcoming manner. Now try the same with your palm down, would you like to have a seat. Now you’re pointing with your palm down. See the difference suddenly, it looks authoritarian, commanding and restrictive. That’s how expressive our palm is. So if you want to come across as an empathetic, inclusive or even funny personality, use your palm out gestures and if you want to come across as commanding or urgent or authoritative, then use your palm in or palm down gestures. It gets even worse if you point a finger and close a palm. That’s why Allan Pease, an australian author and body language expert, rightly said, the power is in the palm of your hand.
2. Feet and Chest towards the Guest
You cannot influence a person who doesn’t feel valued by your company, and one of the best ways to make a person feel valued is by listening attentively to what they are saying not just by your ears but by your body and expressions as well. No, you don’t have to lean your ears towards the person. Imagine I’m facing someone who’s talking to me and notice I’m going to show you three positions. Position number one is leaning behind the chair and hands on my thighs. I look attentive but not super interested and to top this if i cross my arms, i am closed, the other person will stop paying attention to me knowing that I’m not interested in their conversation. Position number two, I’m sitting sideways I’ve got my legs crossed and I point them sideways. Now I’m clearly not that interested. How about this, sit with the body towards the front, lean slightly forward. Now I’m listening attentively. There is a popular phrase in english called walk away or withdrawing from your situation. Pointing your feet and upper body away from the speaker reflects lack of commitment and walking away from the situation or person. This is a sign of a weak personality. So practice the art of effective listening with your body as this will create a massive difference in your impression on others minds.
3. Stop Grudging by Buzzing and Trudging
An influential person owns the place wherever they go, their body expression tells it all. Owning doesn’t mean dominating or marking territory. It simply means to be comfortable and confident around the place and the people. So let’s talk about what you must avoid if you want to look, maybe you don’t want to look uncomfortable and underconfident. Random shoulder shrugging while speaking in public. Janine Driver, one of the former FBI agents, reveals that they have got criminals judging their body language and shoulder shrugging is one of them. It reflects uncertainty on what that person is saying, and it’s also a sign of a weak personality. So control those bouncy shoulders to make you look bolder. Next let me show you grooming with small adjustments. Now imagine you’re standing and listening and you’re playing with your hair, looking nervous and adjusting your buttons all the time, hiding your hands in your pocket, all these things reflect a lack of confidence in your attire or maybe in your body. Alternatively stand comfortably and just keep your hands slightly tucked at your waist. Your hands should comfortably rest on your thighs or perhaps on your side and now in the sitting position also, you see people shaking legs while sitting and how about dragging and walking with the noise. I know that feels so relaxing but it drains out our influential powers. In contrast walk with confident steps and hands out of the pocket, no rushing, take your time in settling down or getting comfortable in your place, take your time in your answers with pauses between talks. All this will reflect a calm personality and will convey a powerful presence, and the last of course, is fiddling with your phone and your watches. I know everyone does that maybe even the person sitting in front of you. But if you want to stand out from the crowd, the habit of complete attention to the speaker, just kind of this becomes a game changer for you. So avoid the bunny effect in public and you will roar like a lion.
4. Don't Chase to Break the Space
Space is an unattended topic in our lives, but a strong determinant of personality in the world of body language. So, what is the psychology of space, let’s unfold the science with this question. Have you ever been to the busiest public places and felt uncomfortable with strangers entering your personal space. So, why is this discomfort and why do you feel uncomfortable. Anthropologist Edward Hall coined the term proxemics regarding the science of space between two people while communicating. He presented four categories regarding space while communicating.
- Public space,
- Social space,
- Personal space and
- Intimate space.
Public space ranges from about 12 to 25 feet. It means the person is 12 feet or further from you, they’re in your public space. You can find this in seminars, presentations etc. Social space, is if i come closer it ranges from about 4 to 12 feet and in this range you have your colleagues, your customers, your friends, your work friends etc . This is the ideal distance for any kind of conversation with a person. Now an influential person understands the boundary of this range and never breaks it to enter the personal space which is about one to four feet. This is reserved for family and close friends and the last one is intimate space which is less than a foot and you might even be touching the other person. Again this is for someone you’re very very comfortable with. So, to avoid making the other person uncomfortable and to hold your influential powers maintain a social space of about four feet every time you have a conversation
5. Eye contact
Eyes are like the flag bearer of your first impression. So, if one is hiding their eyes with sunglasses or any other obstacles, they’re already losing major points in first impression. Remove your sunglasses. So, what is an ideal eye contact, well the 60 : 40 ratio is kind of suggested to be an ideal eye contact ratio. It means you should keep about 60 percent of your conversation maintaining your eye contact with the speaker, but a long duration of eye contact could make you look judgmental and kind of creepy and a very low amount of eye contact will make you look unfocused and bored. So, the eyes are a highly expressive organ, the more you practice playing with your eyes, the more engaging your conversation will appear and hence you will have more influential powers, and what could be a better practice kit than the mirror itself. So, next time when you’re watching mirror, keep an eye on your eyes.
Conclusion
An influential person not only shows powerful and confident body language but also is sensitive enough to catch others non-verbal cues to create meaningful relationships. Try empathizing with the listener and you will automatically enter their closed group circle. So keep practicing and keep impacting the world in all the positivity that you hold.